love is not weakness, it's a virtue
showing us our humanity
guiding us to our humility
telling us our ability to care for another
with compassion and kindness
exploring our potential
love is not weakness, it's a war
waged against egoism and hatred
to fight for forgiveness and acceptance
love is not weakness as we made to believe
suffering has no room in true love
only a warm fuzzy feeling there is
with sunbeams
and smiles...
(and loving you should be like this...)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Lennon`s Love
Love is real, real is love,
Love is feeling, feeling love,
Love is wanting to be loved.
Love is touch, touch is love,
Love is reaching, reaching love,
Love is asking to be loved.
Love is you, You and me,
Love is knowing, We can be.
Love is free, free is love,
Love is living, living love,
Love is needing to be loved.
Love is feeling, feeling love,
Love is wanting to be loved.
Love is touch, touch is love,
Love is reaching, reaching love,
Love is asking to be loved.
Love is you, You and me,
Love is knowing, We can be.
Love is free, free is love,
Love is living, living love,
Love is needing to be loved.
Lennon
Everyone should watch the documentary "US vs. John Lennon" and ask themselves is the politics in US any different today? The war, McCain, the foreign politics of US, the violence and dissent? Iraq war is the Vietnam of OUR generation and what do we do? It`s been 5 years and the war is getting deadlier every year. Where are all the marches, activism and the spirit of youth? Why can`t we be like the '60s youth? I wanna march the streets and sing one more time knowing I will be called a "dreamer":
"All we are saying is give peace a chance! All we are saying is give peace a chance!..."
"All we are saying is give peace a chance! All we are saying is give peace a chance!..."
Monday, July 21, 2008
Hurt
I don't even know why I feel the temptation to write here...it feels like a public execution of our love...maybe it's something you are familiar with...but politically, not emotionally...
I don't know how to feel. I cannot make sense of the things you are tring to tell me. If you really love me, why am I hurt so much? Sometimes, I believe, my love for you is more profound. I can count the reasons why I love you...All you can say is that I'm educated and intelligent...I can think of a million others who can fit that description...it's the little things, you know? it's those small silly things that draw one to another...you don't seem to see that...
The life of our relationship was six months. Looking back, I shouldn't be surprised. Most of my relationships, in the past, started to go downhill after half a year of being together. Maybe I am untolerable after that period of time. (I know!- I tend to blame myself first, when things start to go rough.) On a second thought, I always feel like I have tried very hard in this relationship because of my respect and gratitute for you. People in a relationship grow closer in time, we grow apart or actually you grow apart from me. It's reverse in our relationship which makes me wonder where this is going. And you expect me just to accept the situation, to respect your decision not to be with me as often, not to share your daily life, to see me when YOU want to and not to when YOU choose to.
How do my feelings fit into this picture? I cannot adapt to your spontenous plans in a blink of an eye. I want stability, I want predictibility. I can sense that this is not going anywhere positive and constructive.
It's a dilemma - should I give in and accept your rules for this relationship now? Wait till you satisfy our loneliness? When, how long, why?
or should I just accept that I won't be able to live like this as much as I know myself and stop the hurting?
I don't know how to feel. I cannot make sense of the things you are tring to tell me. If you really love me, why am I hurt so much? Sometimes, I believe, my love for you is more profound. I can count the reasons why I love you...All you can say is that I'm educated and intelligent...I can think of a million others who can fit that description...it's the little things, you know? it's those small silly things that draw one to another...you don't seem to see that...
The life of our relationship was six months. Looking back, I shouldn't be surprised. Most of my relationships, in the past, started to go downhill after half a year of being together. Maybe I am untolerable after that period of time. (I know!- I tend to blame myself first, when things start to go rough.) On a second thought, I always feel like I have tried very hard in this relationship because of my respect and gratitute for you. People in a relationship grow closer in time, we grow apart or actually you grow apart from me. It's reverse in our relationship which makes me wonder where this is going. And you expect me just to accept the situation, to respect your decision not to be with me as often, not to share your daily life, to see me when YOU want to and not to when YOU choose to.
How do my feelings fit into this picture? I cannot adapt to your spontenous plans in a blink of an eye. I want stability, I want predictibility. I can sense that this is not going anywhere positive and constructive.
It's a dilemma - should I give in and accept your rules for this relationship now? Wait till you satisfy our loneliness? When, how long, why?
or should I just accept that I won't be able to live like this as much as I know myself and stop the hurting?
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Working in Canada
“The only way to bear the unbearable is to laugh at it.”
I am 27 with a MA and unemployment.
I have a two-year work permit without work.
I should be used to it by now
Canada is a country of irony, especially for immigrants.
They take the most educated people from abroad
And ask them to clean hotel rooms and drive cabs.
I have been looking for a decent job for the past six months with no luck.
I have been in and out of many interviews.
The closest I got to landing a job was last week. I was selected for the first and second round of interviews and got my references checked for a settlement worker position which means I would be working with immigrants, helping them integrate into the society.
I can speak three languages (English, Turkish and a bit of German)
I studied ethnic minorities in my Master’s and
Even dedicated my research to “those who feel like outsiders at home.”
That’s me! I am an outsider!
The hiring committee kept asking about my immigration status.
Are you still an international student??
NO, I have a valid work permit granted to me by Citizenship and Immigration Canada! Isn’t that enough to get a job in Canada?
Oh well, have you applied for permanent residency?
Yes, I have but still waiting to hear from them. I can’t call them or email.
The only correspondence is through mail which takes 10 days to get to me from Buffalo.
So I didn’t get hired.
With an MA, three languages and work experience, I am unemployed.
I have a work permit without a job.
I can’t escape this feeling. I am stuck. I am an outsider.
I am a Turk in North America and I am a North American in Turkey.
I came to Canada eight years ago to start my undergraduate degree at York.
Then came the graduate school.
People keep telling me to volunteer.
That’s the best way to find employment.
Since 2000, if you add up the times I volunteered for different organizations
It would make two full-time jobs.
The best I could do was to find a part-time job at the University of Windsor as a researcher.
But even then, I couldn’t escape the treatment as an immigrant.
While I was seeking the help and support of my supervisors about connecting me with their contacts, a few weird things happened.
One of them asked me if I would feel comfortable cleaning her house once a week.
Apparently, her cleaning lady was sick.
Another employer, who is also a professor at the school, told me that he cannot forward my resume to his colleagues because it is not appropriate.
I wonder why it would be so hard to pick up the phone and call a colleague?
He is old and must have contacts all across Canada.
I went to the employment services at Windsor Women Working With Immigrant Women – an NGO in Windsor.
I was seeking employment support.
The career advisor asked to wait a few hours because there were managers coming from Hilton looking for housekeepers.
Excuse me Miss, if you look at my resume, which I presented to you two minutes ago, you’ll see that I am not freash from the boat! I am educated in Canada! I have a Masters degree! I am not looking for a room cleaning job at Hilton.
Another career advisor told me that it is very difficult to find a job in Windsor. Almost impossible.
Thank you, Miss! I thought your job was to encourage and inspire me. Thanks for all your help.
I get so anxious in phone interviews.
I have an accent. It is not thick or annoying.
In fact, many people told me that I sound French.
Still I feel very self-conscious when having a phone interview.
I studder and totally forget speaking English. My grammer fails miserably.
Who will anyone hire?
A Canadian or a girl with an accent.
I know what they want.
They want me to work in Tim Horton’s.
That’s what they expect from immigrants.
If I were a man, I would end up driving a taxi.
Because I resist working at a crappy job, I am umeployment.
I don’t even know which one is worse?
Being humiliated every day because I got a job so below your education
Or becoming homeless because you have zero income?
Which one is worse?
I think know that I will never belong.
I think that is the worst.
I was at this employment session where they brought this Indian businessman to talk to the newcomers.
He was telling us that people do not normally get jobs which they are educated for in Canada
Canada has the largest number of under-employed people.
He was advising people to do any kind of job in gratitute.
Work in Tim Horton’s with an engineering degree and be grateful because
You are priviledged to live in Canada
You are special.
You work for minimum wage, get shit everyday and work your ass off your your children’s future
Be grateful oh you immigrant
Be grateful!
This is what they had told the poor crowd at the session.
And what choice do they have really?
I have always separated myself from the newcomers
But the truth of the matter is
I am still an outsider in the eyes of employers
Discrimination here is so hush- hush that
It is a taboo to talk about it anywhere.
It is hidden.
I wonder if it would be different if I wore a mini-skirt to the interviews
I have no luck!
Women got majority of the positions in NGOs.
Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind.
I have no support system here. My family is far far away
Even though I always feel their love
I need to detox my soul from all this anger, heatbreak and dissapointment
I accomplished so much since I was 19 in this country.
I have been living on my own since them
My soul is tired. It needs a rest.
I know
No matter how many Canadians I made friends with
No matter how many degrees I have from Canada
No matter how much I volunteered
How well I educated myself about this country
I am an outsider and probably will remain as one.
I am 27 with a MA and unemployment.
I have a two-year work permit without work.
I should be used to it by now
Canada is a country of irony, especially for immigrants.
They take the most educated people from abroad
And ask them to clean hotel rooms and drive cabs.
I have been looking for a decent job for the past six months with no luck.
I have been in and out of many interviews.
The closest I got to landing a job was last week. I was selected for the first and second round of interviews and got my references checked for a settlement worker position which means I would be working with immigrants, helping them integrate into the society.
I can speak three languages (English, Turkish and a bit of German)
I studied ethnic minorities in my Master’s and
Even dedicated my research to “those who feel like outsiders at home.”
That’s me! I am an outsider!
The hiring committee kept asking about my immigration status.
Are you still an international student??
NO, I have a valid work permit granted to me by Citizenship and Immigration Canada! Isn’t that enough to get a job in Canada?
Oh well, have you applied for permanent residency?
Yes, I have but still waiting to hear from them. I can’t call them or email.
The only correspondence is through mail which takes 10 days to get to me from Buffalo.
So I didn’t get hired.
With an MA, three languages and work experience, I am unemployed.
I have a work permit without a job.
I can’t escape this feeling. I am stuck. I am an outsider.
I am a Turk in North America and I am a North American in Turkey.
I came to Canada eight years ago to start my undergraduate degree at York.
Then came the graduate school.
People keep telling me to volunteer.
That’s the best way to find employment.
Since 2000, if you add up the times I volunteered for different organizations
It would make two full-time jobs.
The best I could do was to find a part-time job at the University of Windsor as a researcher.
But even then, I couldn’t escape the treatment as an immigrant.
While I was seeking the help and support of my supervisors about connecting me with their contacts, a few weird things happened.
One of them asked me if I would feel comfortable cleaning her house once a week.
Apparently, her cleaning lady was sick.
Another employer, who is also a professor at the school, told me that he cannot forward my resume to his colleagues because it is not appropriate.
I wonder why it would be so hard to pick up the phone and call a colleague?
He is old and must have contacts all across Canada.
I went to the employment services at Windsor Women Working With Immigrant Women – an NGO in Windsor.
I was seeking employment support.
The career advisor asked to wait a few hours because there were managers coming from Hilton looking for housekeepers.
Excuse me Miss, if you look at my resume, which I presented to you two minutes ago, you’ll see that I am not freash from the boat! I am educated in Canada! I have a Masters degree! I am not looking for a room cleaning job at Hilton.
Another career advisor told me that it is very difficult to find a job in Windsor. Almost impossible.
Thank you, Miss! I thought your job was to encourage and inspire me. Thanks for all your help.
I get so anxious in phone interviews.
I have an accent. It is not thick or annoying.
In fact, many people told me that I sound French.
Still I feel very self-conscious when having a phone interview.
I studder and totally forget speaking English. My grammer fails miserably.
Who will anyone hire?
A Canadian or a girl with an accent.
I know what they want.
They want me to work in Tim Horton’s.
That’s what they expect from immigrants.
If I were a man, I would end up driving a taxi.
Because I resist working at a crappy job, I am umeployment.
I don’t even know which one is worse?
Being humiliated every day because I got a job so below your education
Or becoming homeless because you have zero income?
Which one is worse?
I think know that I will never belong.
I think that is the worst.
I was at this employment session where they brought this Indian businessman to talk to the newcomers.
He was telling us that people do not normally get jobs which they are educated for in Canada
Canada has the largest number of under-employed people.
He was advising people to do any kind of job in gratitute.
Work in Tim Horton’s with an engineering degree and be grateful because
You are priviledged to live in Canada
You are special.
You work for minimum wage, get shit everyday and work your ass off your your children’s future
Be grateful oh you immigrant
Be grateful!
This is what they had told the poor crowd at the session.
And what choice do they have really?
I have always separated myself from the newcomers
But the truth of the matter is
I am still an outsider in the eyes of employers
Discrimination here is so hush- hush that
It is a taboo to talk about it anywhere.
It is hidden.
I wonder if it would be different if I wore a mini-skirt to the interviews
I have no luck!
Women got majority of the positions in NGOs.
Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind.
I have no support system here. My family is far far away
Even though I always feel their love
I need to detox my soul from all this anger, heatbreak and dissapointment
I accomplished so much since I was 19 in this country.
I have been living on my own since them
My soul is tired. It needs a rest.
I know
No matter how many Canadians I made friends with
No matter how many degrees I have from Canada
No matter how much I volunteered
How well I educated myself about this country
I am an outsider and probably will remain as one.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
May 1- Workers' Day
It is May 1, 2008- a day for the celebration of workers' rights around the world. It is such a shame what the Turkish government is doing to repress the celebrations. Using bombs, water and police force against its own citizens! why is it such when this day is peacefully celebrate around the world today? what is the government afraid of? is there something they are hiding that they fear will surface in this very day?? can they be more capitalist?!
the system is bigger than the individual even when you want to scream and shout and defend your own rights, you are silenced, beat down and repressed by force.
everywhere but Turkey has these pictures of arrests, struggle and police force. I am so angry and ashamed.
the system is bigger than the individual even when you want to scream and shout and defend your own rights, you are silenced, beat down and repressed by force.
everywhere but Turkey has these pictures of arrests, struggle and police force. I am so angry and ashamed.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Crapp
I am tired of getting crap from people!!! OMG, it's like April is the worst month of my life!
Is it impossible to find a decent full-time job with an MA degree? what the hell is wrong with the world? My resume is like 4 pages long and my portfolio is like a 100 pages! And I`m only 26 years old (not 45)! What do people want? do I need to be a super-woman?!
Is it impossible to find a decent full-time job with an MA degree? what the hell is wrong with the world? My resume is like 4 pages long and my portfolio is like a 100 pages! And I`m only 26 years old (not 45)! What do people want? do I need to be a super-woman?!
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